August 11, 2010

19 years ago today, I packed up a hand-me-down suitcase from my grandmother, waved goodbye to my family, boarded a Delta Airlines DC-10 and left home bound for New York City.

I was a bright-eyed, 23 year-old kid pursuing his dream of becoming a Broadway performer. I never actually performed "On Broadway", but within days of landing in the Big Apple I was cast as "Bill Calhoun" in a National Tour of "Kiss Me Kate". In the opening of the Second Act, I sang the well-known song "Too Darn Hot" and in "Bianca" I performed a tap dance solo with a dozen or so chorus girls backing me up. One of the many venues we played on that tour was this enormous amphitheater...

...it seated over 5,000 people.

Every performance, 5,000 people would stand up and applaud for me.

ME.

I moved into a cozy apartment on Manhattan's Upper West Side and continued to pursue my dream. I went on to perform in 2 more National Tours, "Fiddler on the Roof" and "Starlight Express". I also performed in "Starlight Express" in Germany on a giant, 3-story stage housed within an enormous hall that was built just for that production. I was in "Fantasy" in Pusan, South Korea, where I was a dancer as well as a Magicians Assistant. I looked after their black leopard, Zarina...she loved to play tug-of-war with her leash! I was also "Mark" in "A Chorus Line" in Atlantic City, choreographed by Baayork Lee, one of the original Broadway cast members and Michael Bennett's right hand. The story of the character "Connie" is based entirely on her.

In Las Vegas I performed in "Starlight Express" on the same stage that Elvis Presley performed on at the Las Vegas Hilton. We held vocal rehearsals in his apartment on the top floor of the hotel. I was one of the last few people to walk its ghostly halls before it was demolished. I also performed for more than 5 years in the Bally's Hotel showgirl extravaganza "Jubilee!" (we sank the Titanic onstage nightly!). I was the galaxy-hopping "Ensign Thomas" at "Star Trek: the Experience". I was a singing cocktail server, serenading the casino crowd nightly at the Rio Hotel/Casino. I performed in Vegas for almost a decade. At one point, I was being paid over $1,000 a week for my talents...and that was 17 years ago! I performed in three different productions of "Starlight Express"...in Las Vegas, in Germany and in 42 cities across the United States. I would skate down ramps and over half-pipes at speeds up to 35 MPH, completely covered from head-to-toe in a costume weighing 55 pounds, wearing a helmet you could barely see out of, all while pulling a girl, attached to my belt loops, behind me.

...and I did it all with 4 wheels attached to the bottom of each foot.

I was good.

I was strong.

I was somebody.

I was important.

I was envied.

Today, I am a 42 year-old, overweight, recovering alcoholic who recently underwent Hernia surgery.

I was evicted from my apartment and am now living in a trailer park in a small town in Northern California with my Mother and Step-Father.

I'm working part-time at a small, 96 room hotel next to the freeway making just over minimum wage. I spend my days checking in drug dealers and drug addicts, prostitutes and homeless people on government assistance.

I'm over $10,000 in debt.

My cell-phone has been disconnected for non-payment.

I haven't been on stage in many, many years.

Where did things go so wrong?

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED???